Edwina Nearhood is a long time Fort St. John resident sharing her vision loss journey. Please remember, every person’s vision loss experience is as unique as they are.
In the months preceding transplant, I lived in a neighbourhood close to St. Paul’s Hospital. I noticed a number of visually impaired people learning to navigate their world. I find it ironic that this was on my radar. There was also a feed of a visually impaired woman that showed up on my social media feed. I think my algorithm new me better than I did!
In the first days of blindness, I was very disoriented. If you have ever spent any time in the hospital, you may know how difficult it is to sleep. I had no concept of time. I would doze off and then startle awake. I would then hit the call button asking what time it was. Those poor ICU nurses would say five minutes later than last time. Days later my partner would bring me a talking watch. He wouldn’t leave me my phone because at that point it was not accessible for me. Staff would enter my room unannounced and speak to me right beside my bed. I would answer them with a startled scream. They would leave my room unannounced, and I would continue to speak to them!
The first days of adjustment once I was allowed to eat found me missing my mouth most times. This was exasperated by the transplant medications. Food has lost its desirability. Salads are very difficult to eat. I am unable to be selective in the forkful of salad I take. I now use my fingers to load my fork instead of a knife, because I have little reference otherwise. I am sure I will improve, however for now this is where I am at. I prefer to use plates with a lip on them, so I do not push my food off the plate. Just this morning, I lost half of my French toast to the placemat. I was someone who was an impeccably neat eater that hated sticky fingers. Extra napkins are now always nearby. I have a liquid level indicator to poor hot drinks and a finger in the glass to pour cold drinks.
I now touch EVERYTHING. This is problematic when you are immune suppressed. I am phobic over germs and expired food. I will not eat anything left on the counter for more than an hour. No three-day leftovers for me.
I use a lot of hand sanitizer when out in public. I recently flew to Calgary and am so very aware at all I must touch! I cannot walk up or down a flight of stairs without using the handrail because balance relies on vision. I am sure it is easier for people that have been born with a vision impairment, however, for me I am missing my Drishti or focal point.
Cooking in the kitchen is disastrous when not alone. People move my stuff or turn the pot handle on the stove. Most of our appliances have needed to be adapted for my use. I still cannot use the oven. Instead, I opt for the toaster oven or air fryer. I was a foodie in my previous life. I cooked everything from scratch. I relied on my vision to add ingredients. Now I must measure everything. Today I made French toast. I added to much milk to the eggs. Each mistake brings me closer to a better result next time. I have added to much cinnamon, fluids, or other ingredients. For now, I am sticking to easy recipes.
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